Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
