I'm going to jail i love you
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
