For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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