Please, let me fuck your mom
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
