About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize