just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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