Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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