i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
