my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
