she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
