Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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