It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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