Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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