I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
