just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
