I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
