how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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