we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
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