Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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