so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Randomize
