Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
