Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
