my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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