Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
