i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
