Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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