i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
