She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
