I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
