He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
