My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I love having hate sex.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
