i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize