D3 body, D1 cock
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Come share oat with me in your robe
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
