Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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