So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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