yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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