the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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