Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
