Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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