Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
