If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
