is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
