Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize