xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
worst night to have a conscience
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
