I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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