No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
