nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
