Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
