The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
