He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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