miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
