Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
