Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
