There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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