I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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