yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
