Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
