My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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