I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize