He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
please come you make the beer taste better
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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