Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
