She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Randomize
