Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize