Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
